I've been painting a ceiling. It's a perfectly ordinary ceiling with one foot square tiles. It is not a large ceiling, yet it has proven challenging. In years past, the roof leaked and left the ceiling stained with large dark water spots. I don't think it's any exaggeration to say I have applied twenty coats of Kilz.
Of course I found out after the fact that I ought to have been using oil-based Kilz instead of water-based. At the moment, I just grabbed the already available water based version and dove in.
Painting over the water spots so many times is not among the most pleasant of my painting experiences, but it has given me food for thought.
In life I often look at the places I've messed up and the sins I've committed and imagine they must be covered with Kilz. The water-based version. And so I plead for forgiveness again and again and again. I peer at the spots with critical eyes, wondering if they are actually getting lighter or not. I use buckets worth of expensive supplies and difficult apologies. And in the end all my work doesn't actually make that much difference. The spots are still there.
It's so much different if I can turn to Jesus. His blood is a much more powerful remedy than all the Kilz I could ever use. One application is enough and the spots are gone. Completely vanished. Forever.
So why don't I call on Him for help right away? Why do I think my feeble roller-full of Kilz is still part of the fix? The problem usually lies in my understanding of His love for me and my ability to trust that love. I can't fathom a love that takes all the responsibility. A love that I don't have to earn at all. A love that is not meted out in stingy portions, but given lavishly.
Love for me.
Me.
Unworthy.
Imperfect.
Doubtful.
But it is true. He waits longingly for His children to reach out to Him. The price has already been paid, the most expensive and high quality remedy there is, and it's ours for the asking. He's said so in His Word: "Ask and it shall be given you." (Matthew 7:7a)
I want to learn to leave my doubting behind. I want to learn to relax into the perfect love of Jesus. To turn "Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood." (Romans 1:5b) I want to learn every day to trust Him more.
And in return? In thankfulness to His love, His care, His washing of me? Well, what is there to do but give Him everything?
Of course I found out after the fact that I ought to have been using oil-based Kilz instead of water-based. At the moment, I just grabbed the already available water based version and dove in.
Painting over the water spots so many times is not among the most pleasant of my painting experiences, but it has given me food for thought.
In life I often look at the places I've messed up and the sins I've committed and imagine they must be covered with Kilz. The water-based version. And so I plead for forgiveness again and again and again. I peer at the spots with critical eyes, wondering if they are actually getting lighter or not. I use buckets worth of expensive supplies and difficult apologies. And in the end all my work doesn't actually make that much difference. The spots are still there.
It's so much different if I can turn to Jesus. His blood is a much more powerful remedy than all the Kilz I could ever use. One application is enough and the spots are gone. Completely vanished. Forever.
So why don't I call on Him for help right away? Why do I think my feeble roller-full of Kilz is still part of the fix? The problem usually lies in my understanding of His love for me and my ability to trust that love. I can't fathom a love that takes all the responsibility. A love that I don't have to earn at all. A love that is not meted out in stingy portions, but given lavishly.
Love for me.
Me.
Unworthy.
Imperfect.
Doubtful.
But it is true. He waits longingly for His children to reach out to Him. The price has already been paid, the most expensive and high quality remedy there is, and it's ours for the asking. He's said so in His Word: "Ask and it shall be given you." (Matthew 7:7a)
I want to learn to leave my doubting behind. I want to learn to relax into the perfect love of Jesus. To turn "Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood." (Romans 1:5b) I want to learn every day to trust Him more.
And in return? In thankfulness to His love, His care, His washing of me? Well, what is there to do but give Him everything?
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