My heart was so heavy I could hardly bear the pain and grief, the aching turmoil inside. I took up my Bible and began to read, searching for relief. And then I found Psalm 13. The very first verse caught at my heart: How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me? Here was someone else, crying out to God in the same way I felt in my own heart!
In the next verse, King David continued his agonized questioning: How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? How long shall mine enemy be exalted over me? What a perfect description! I, too, was bound up with conflicting thoughts. I felt beleaguered by the Devil, searching desperately for God's hand.
Consider and hear me, O Lord my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death. Yes, oh, yes! I needed light and direction. Surely this dark confusion would lead to death. Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him; and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved. "Well, God," I thought, perhaps a bit bitterly, "aren't You supposed to be sending in the cavalry about now?" Was there to be no happy ending to David's plight? If he, even the king of God's own choosing, got no relief, how could I expect it? My anguished soul turned to verse eight:
But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the Lord, because he hath dealt bountifully with me. And there the Psalm ended, with David singing praises in the valley, being thankful in the storm, seeing beauty in the midst of ashes.
My heart filled with hope and my eyes with tears. Clearly God had sent me this message. Surely I was to take the same steps as David, trusting Him, thanking Him, praising Him, recognizing His mercy in the midst of trial.
Throughout the next few days, Satan continued to attack me with doubts and fears, questions and darkness. When the weight became too heavy, I would find Psalm 13 in my Bible or on my phone. I would read it again and again until the light broke through and my heart became calm.
Maybe something about this experience felt familiar to you, too. The darkness and fears that Satan is attempting to use as a device that separates us from God. The doubts and hopelessness, the days it seems there is no reason or way to begin to trust. The Evil One is a master at putting wedges in our hearts that make us believe God no longer cares nor understands, and I must fight alone.
In the next verse, King David continued his agonized questioning: How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? How long shall mine enemy be exalted over me? What a perfect description! I, too, was bound up with conflicting thoughts. I felt beleaguered by the Devil, searching desperately for God's hand.
Consider and hear me, O Lord my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death. Yes, oh, yes! I needed light and direction. Surely this dark confusion would lead to death. Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him; and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved. "Well, God," I thought, perhaps a bit bitterly, "aren't You supposed to be sending in the cavalry about now?" Was there to be no happy ending to David's plight? If he, even the king of God's own choosing, got no relief, how could I expect it? My anguished soul turned to verse eight:
But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the Lord, because he hath dealt bountifully with me. And there the Psalm ended, with David singing praises in the valley, being thankful in the storm, seeing beauty in the midst of ashes.
My heart filled with hope and my eyes with tears. Clearly God had sent me this message. Surely I was to take the same steps as David, trusting Him, thanking Him, praising Him, recognizing His mercy in the midst of trial.
Throughout the next few days, Satan continued to attack me with doubts and fears, questions and darkness. When the weight became too heavy, I would find Psalm 13 in my Bible or on my phone. I would read it again and again until the light broke through and my heart became calm.
Maybe something about this experience felt familiar to you, too. The darkness and fears that Satan is attempting to use as a device that separates us from God. The doubts and hopelessness, the days it seems there is no reason or way to begin to trust. The Evil One is a master at putting wedges in our hearts that make us believe God no longer cares nor understands, and I must fight alone.
We cannot understand all the things God allows us to face, but as the familiar quote says, "When God closes the door, I will praise Him in the hallway." Whatever the trial or tribulation I find myself in, whatever disasters befall in the world around me, I want to turn toward the One whom my soul loves. I want to choose faith and hope in Him, and let His praises re-echo in the hallway.
♥️
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nettie❣️
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