Unapologetically Flawed

    It's your nose, isn't it? You've gazed at it sidewise in the mirror and wished it wasn't quite so hawkish. Or maybe it's your personality. You can't count the times you've longed to be more bubbly. Or maybe it's that you feel clumsy? You trip over your own feet and everyone else's, spill your coffee, and drop your keys. The screen of your phone is a perpetual spiderweb of cracks from all the times it's slipped from your grasp. 
    And don't even start on the lack of talents. Your dress patterns are always plain and straightforward, there's not an artistic bone in your body, and your words come out a jumbled mess of bad grammar. You've never been the athletic one. You can sing, but only soprano and only songs you know and only if you have a strong leader to follow. Now that you're thinking about it, you're a real mess, aren't you? Hopeless, pathetic, useless. Why did God create you like this? How can He use you in His Kingdom when you can't even wash the dishes without having to mop the floor?

    Perhaps you long for perfection. Perfect hair, perfect smile, perfect poise in every situation. 

    But perfect people only live in Paradise. 

    And this old world, though a nice enough place to live, is certainly not paradise.

    Oh, it was perfect in the beginning. And perfect people were created for that perfect world. But there was sin. Ugly sin. Sin that destroyed the perfection. Because of that sin, we can never hope to be perfect. We can never expect to reach a point of flawlessness like Adam and Eve the day they were created. But in spite of this knowledge, we still hope. We reach and grasp for the impossible dream of perfection, regardless of the futility of our actions.

    "You can be anyone!" we are told. But it's not so simple. Maybe you've tried it. Maybe you've found, like me, that you always feel you aren't quite good enough. You have to work double time to cover up all the things that don't go along with the persona you've tried to create for yourself. And at the end of the day? You still feel like a failure. The control over your life that you've worked so hard to create is just a slender thread away from spinning into wild disarray. And flaws covered up just aren't the same as no flaws at all.

    Are you ready for the truth? It's so simple you may not like to hear it. It sounds so easy. Like something your mom or your grandma always told you. And it's not perfect.

    The truth is that the only way we will ever attain perfection is to accept our imperfection. The only way we will reach a point of flawlessness is to accept that we are flawed. The only way we will ever quit apologizing for our lack of what we consider ideal characteristics is to live unapologetically as the person each of us was created to be.

    There, among the crumbled dreams of how we've wished to be we will stand in humility and submission before the God who created us. He will mend us, slowly it seems to those of us who are impatient, and make us whole. But even with His great loving hand putting us back together, we will not become the perfection we seem to think we need to be. No, we must accept living with scuffs and cracks and scars.

    And it is in acceptance we will find peace. Acceptance of our imperfections and our flaws. Unapologetically living a joyful life in spite of those things about ourselves we sometimes wish were different. "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ." (Philippians 1:6) We are promised He will continue working with us, continue sanding down our jagged edges, reshaping the clay of our vessels, smoothing over the cracked places with gentle hands.

    And someday, someday on that day of Jesus Christ, we shall walk on golden streets of Paradise with perfect, uncrippled feet. We will sing with voices clear and strong. We will know the right words, have the right smile, be creatures of light and joy. Someday we will gaze in awe at the shining perfect city created just for us by the One who created us, who knows our faults, who is able to save us from them. And we will finally abide in the perfection we have longed for with the Most Perfect One. Forever. Home.    

Run

   As I was driving down the road, a cat crossed in front of me. This was no idle stroll, it was a flat out run, made difficult by the fact that the cat was carrying a prize, a field mouse, in it's mouth. The thing that caught my attention was that the cat did not look at the vehicle bearing down on it. Not once did it glance over its shoulder until it was safely across the road and had slowed its pace.
    We are running a race too. Like the cat carried the mouse in an uncompromising grip, so ought we to carry the prize of salvation. We must run, never looking back at the things we've left behind, never giving in to the fear of the darkness looming around us, but with our eyes set only on the far side of Jordan. We should run, unfalteringly, toward the light of the New Day that will dawn, running always toward the goal with the prize of salvation carried in our thankful hearts.
    Will we weary at times by the way? Certainly. Will there be days we question if the goal is worth it? Possibly. Will we regret the efforts we have expended? Never. As Paul wrote to the Corinthians, "...run that ye may obtain." (1 Corinthians 9:24b)
    Run without looking back. Run toward the safety of a Heavenly reward. Run, because you have been given a gift, and you must protect it at any cost. 
    The forces of evil cannot overtake you if you run with your eyes on the goal. On the days you tire, you have a Captain that will carry you. You are not alone. There are brothers and sisters in the Church cheering you onward. 
    So run. With courage, with grace, with endurance. Run, that your children may see the smile on your lips as you face into the wind and wish to pursue the same joy you partake of. 

    Run with patience, with steadiness, with peace. Run, that those held captive by the enemy may be inspired to break loose of the chains that bind them. 

    Run every day, over any type of terrain, never looking back. Run, so that someday you shall stand before the Throne of Heaven with a soul immersed in thankfulness that you were given a prize, that you took the choice presented, and that you chose to run.   

Confusing Stories

    Lyssa finished reading and looked up at me. "What can you tell me about the story?" I asked, checking to see how much of what she had read she actually was able to understand.
    Lyssa fumbled for words. Then, giving up, she shrugged. "I don't know," she paused, her big eyes looking into mine. "It was kinda written in a confusing way."
    I wasn't surprised. Lyssa struggled with reading, and had I not been following along I wouldn't have understood the story either. I had to give her credit though. She had read with dogged determination, doing her best  with the letters and sounds she didn't know how to process correctly.
    There are days I am very much like Lyssa. I find myself sitting in a place that doesn't make much sense. It feels at those moments as if God has asked me to read a story that is confusing. Maybe the words seem too big for me to sound out or the subject matter is too broad for my understanding. But, like Lyssa, my job is to do the best I know and trust there is a reason for the story. 
    It is not my place to question God's choice. Neither do I need to complain about the parts I don't understand. My place is to live quietly in the position where He has placed me, trusting every letter, every tiny punctuation mark to His infinite wisdom. 
    David knew about feeling confused. and overwhelmed by circumstances. "Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death." We hear his heart crying out. He didn't understand all the reasons he must pass through this miserable place. But he doesn't stop there. "I will fear no evil: for thou art with me." 
    The world around us is in confusion. As Christians we may sometimes lack understanding, but we need not wallow in the shadows. We have the knowledge God is with us. We don't need to control every circumstance, understand every phrase, respond with perfect answers to every question, because we know He is the Master of all.
    Trusting is not something that comes easily. It is a decision made deep in the heart of the believer. In spite of the troubled relationships we face and the seemingly disastrous decisions made by world leaders. Regardless of the death of a loved one, an unexpected hospital bill, or the crushing of a cherished dream. Through it all, trust is still a choice.
    No matter the shadows you are walking through, no matter the disappointments you have faced, you need not drown in confused loneliness. Take His hand. Fear no evil. He is with you.