Zacchaeus

     I've been thinking about Zacchaeus from a different angle lately. I'd like to talk to him. I have some questions. Why the tree? The Bible tells us he climbed the gnarled branches in order to see Jesus. Was that his only reason, or was there a deeper longing? Did he hope that Jesus would see him? Was he afraid that by staying on the ground he would be obscured from the love and forgiveness in Jesus' eyes? Did he somehow imagine the rough scratches of the ancient bark would help work redemption? Did he lack the understanding that Jesus could see and know him, whether high in the tree or peering out from among the skirts of his fellowmen?
    I don't know all the answers, but I understand tree climbing. I've clambered up plenty of my own. It's so easy to assume, somehow, that God's love isn't great enough to reach me where I am. I need to elevate myself, somehow catch His attention with how terrible my mistakes are. The bumps and bruises, the ugly scars  and scrapes from my desperate attempt at climbing are my just dues. I deserve the pain. I can't accept His forgiveness because I'm too busy trying to make sure I feel badly enough.

    Instead of letting His mercy work a miracle, I try to rationalize how I can make amends. My logic says that a perfect God cannot love someone that has as many failings as do I, so instead of letting go, I spend time berating myself again and again for things that He has promised are forgiven and forgotten.
    Have you been out looking for trees lately? You needn't climb. Jesus sees you. He knows and loves you. His eyes can find you, wherever you are. You need not be afraid.
    Our part is not the tree climbing. Rather, our part is to grasp in faith His forgiveness, trusting His love, believing in His grace and mercy. There is no redemption in the act of climbing. Tree climbing is useless unless we have faith, yet to have faith goes against our human nature. We like to be independent. We like to imagine we can do it on our own. There is something so safe and secure in following a set of rules rather than trusting in the cleansing power of the blood.
    Ephesians 2:8 says "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of  God." You and I cannot earn our salvation. All the "I'm sorrys," and the tears we cry are not enough to secure our spot in Heaven. 
    Faith is one of the most difficult and most beautiful parts of Christianity. The Evil One knows this. He knows if he can convince us that we need to pay for our own wrongdoings, or that God does not love us as His children, we will soon be thrust into a dark hopelessness. If our faith is weakened, we will have great difficulty in standing. 
    My heart longs to know more of faith. To learn and understand of trusting and believing in the power of the great Savior. I want to humbly follow His leading and lean ever upon His loving and strengthening arm.

Choice to Believe

There are days the going's rugged
And the mountainside is steep.
In the vale of doubt and fearing,
I close my eyes and weep.
Yet comes a sweet reminder
Through the blackness of my grief—
"Faith is always open to you,
If you choose the path of belief."

He's promised if we trust Him,
Great blessings we'll receive;
And so today I make the choice
And choose to just believe.

I believe in His forgiveness,
I believe upon His love,
I believe that He's prepared a home
For me somewhere above.
I believe upon His mercy,
In His power and His grace,
And someday I believe I'll see
My Savior face to face!

There are voices 'round me whispering
That my sins still linger on,
That no matter all the prayers I pray,
I'll never see the dawn.
They tell me it is hopeless,
God's peace I cannot feel—
But then I hear His whisper,
And I know God's love is real.

"I've promised if you trust Me,
Great blessings you'll receive;
And so today just make the choice,
And trust Me and believe."

So I choose to trust forgiveness,
I choose to trust His love,
I believe that He's prepared a home
For me somewhere above!
I choose to trust His mercy,
Trust His power and His grace,
And someday I believe I'll see
My Savior face to face!

Of Walls and Doors

    The children’s book, The Door in the Wall by Marguerite de Angeli, includes a scene where Brother Luke, a friar, tells the crippled boy Robin that, “Thou hast only to follow the wall far enough and there will be a door in it.” Later on, he tells Robin that even his crutches can be a door in the wall.
    This got me started thinking about the walls we face in our lives. There are plenty of them. But for every wall I imagine, I can also find a door. 

    To all of my friends out there who are single: What happens if we began to see our singlehood as a door to service instead of a wall to kick against? Surely there are places we are called to fill that would have been impossible otherwise. The same can be said for those of you who are married, but have not yet been blessed with children.

    To my friends who believe your quiet nature is a wall: I wish I had your problem! Your wall is a beautiful door that allows you to be the listener so many people desperately need.

    To those of you that believe your strong will is a wall, hampering your Christian life: That wall is a magnificent gift granting you the ability to stand firmly in unwavering dedication to our King.

    To those of you who have been bullied or felt unaccepted: Maybe it's sometimes hard to see, but if you follow the wall, you, too, shall find a door. Standing in the frame you will see a path of empathy for others that you may never have been able to walk without the experiences you've lived through.

    And to you, my dear friends who face the walls of physical disability: You may never know the gift you possess to encourage the rest of us and how you teach us to learn of patience and joyful submission.

    The walls may seem long and dismal, but the opportunities for doorways to appear are equally prevalent. Perhaps I haven't mentioned your wall. The list would have been too long to name them all. Don't let that prevent you from following the rough bricks until your searching fingers find the frame that houses your door! 
    Many beautiful things come from what we have mistaken as dreary dead ends. John 16:20 says "Verily, verily, I say unto you, That ye shall weep and lament, but the world shall rejoice: and ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy." That doesn't mean that we will never wish our wall wasn't there. It doesn't mean we will never ask why. But it does mean that we will accept our walls. We will submit to the fact that our King has seen fit to let them remain where they are. Maybe someday He will have them torn down, or maybe not, but for this season, He will give grace.

    Do you have a wall? Follow it. Find your door. If you are brave enough to open it, you will likely find it leads you places you never thought you’d go.