"Humph!"

       I am glad to see fathers and mothers appreciate the level of love and thoughtfulness most students put into gift projects. Sure, the teacher probably gives a little (or a lot!) of guidance, but I have begun to realize that even children inclined towards sloppiness on their spelling pages give careful thought to the right colors and the perfect paint job.

    Once there was a student that had worked very hard on a project. Trying to pretend that all the effort to make something turn out well wasn't a big deal, the child handed the gift to a parent. As the teacher watched, the recipient turned the gift over, looking at it from all angles, then asked, "What's this supposed to be?"  The child explained. After another cursory glance, "Humph!" was the only comment before the parent turned and walked away. 
    I'm not sure if it was a bad day or if this adult was just overtired, but I don't believe the pain on the child's face was ever noticed. There was no commendation made for the child's efforts, no simple thank you, nothing.
    We tend to dismiss God in the same way. He has planned our lives —and us—to perfection. How He created us was for a purpose. We grow tired of hearing that, "God doesn't make junk," because you and I are not happy with His gift. We feel like He doesn't care because He doesn't answer our prayers how we think He should. With a "Humph!" we dismiss His love and give ourselves room for offense and unbelief, thinking, albeit subconsciously, that because He isn't giving us what we want in life, we don't need to give Him total allegiance.
    We entirely overlook the love in His eyes. We forget that God's plan not matching our expectations is not an indicator of His lack of care for us. No matter how much pain goes into the creation of a child's gift it won't be perfect, but God doesn't have that problem. His plan for our circumstances and our refinement is always made in His perfection. 
    Although we do not have perfect understanding, we can get closer to grasping the concept by turning our hearts to the heart of God. As we draw nearer to the cross, crucifying our ideas and desires, we begin to catch a glimpse of the love in the eyes of the Man hanging on a tree. In learning to accept that love we will be able to find His loveliness no matter the circumstances. Our dislike for how we were created will start to wash away in a tide of thankfulness. 
    As I learn more about the true acceptance of His love, I want to stay near enough to Him that I cannot help but see the love in His face. I want to remember to give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth forever (Psalm 107:1). I want to learn to accept His great gifts without saying, "Humph."

Do you remember the saying, "God has three answers to prayer: yes, no, or wait?" My sister introduced me to the version below. No matter which of these answers I receive, I am reminded that He loves me.

God's 3 answers to your prayers:

1. Yes

2. Not Yet

3. I have something better in mind

Freedom

     Arthur Ashe was the first male African American tennis player to be ranked number one in the United States. He rose to this position amidst the racist attitudes of the 1960's. In spite of unfair linesmen and belittling comments from his opponents, he held firmly to his belief that personal dignity was more important than giving way to anger in the face of unfairly losing a match. He saw his position as one of responsibility wherein he could quietly make a difference and take a stand against racism. The dignity he carried with him and his understanding that living the Golden Rule was important, often impressed those with whom he came in contact.
    Arthur not only faced racism in the United States, but also abroad. Because of the South African apartheid, he was denied the opportunity to so much as enter the country in 1968, much less play in a competition being held there. It was not until 1973 that Ashe was allowed to play in a tournament in South Africa. He was shocked by the way black Africans were being treated in their own country. The abuse he saw was much worse than the prejudice he had faced growing up in the segregated States.
    In 1974, Arthur Ashe returned to South Africa for a second tournament. One day he noticed an African youth that seemed to be following him around. Finally Arthur turned and asked the boy why he was following him.
    "Because you're the first one I've ever seen," the boy responded.
    "The first what?" Arthur asked.
    "The first black man that is truly free," the youth answered.
    We live in a world that is inhabited by a population mostly in bondage. As we go about our daily lives weighted with decisions and often carrying loads of worry, fear, and anxiety, we fail to recognize the great gift of freedom that is ours. In our interactions with the world around us we need to remember to let the light of freedom shine through. It should be clear to others that we are not in bondage to insecurity and petty differences, nor in bondage to self or fear. You or I may be the first truly free person they have ever seen!
    Freedom is a gift, an amazing gift, that we sometimes take fore granted. Contrary to what the world around us believes, freedom is not found by running after our own pursuits, but by submission to the Spirit. Satan knows exactly what bondage tempts us the most. Our only hope to stay free of those bonds is to cling to the one who has granted us our precious freedom and allow Him to direct our lives. As the apostle reminded the Galatians, we must "Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage." (Galatians 5:1)
    Clinging to freedom isn't easy with all the voices tempting us to fall into bondage, but it is possible. John 8:36 says "If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed." It is the deepest desire of Christ that we remain walking in freedom. He loves us, and knows that in freedom we will find joy in spite of difficult circumstances. 
    As the cares of life overtake me, I want to remember always to call on the Lover of My Soul, the One who died in order that I might be free. In His great love He can lift you and me out of our miry pits and set us in large places. May we ever praise Him for His mercy!

Making Plans

     I am so grateful for the wonderful, inspiring people with whom I am privileged to share time. I love hearing their random insights and inspirations and am so thankful for their willingness to speak about them. I was with some friends recently on an outing when such an instance came about. 
    To begin with let me mention that I have a history of going on outings with groups of friends that go in any direction except the one we planned. For example, we once visited three restaurants in search of breakfast and finally settled on having lunch at the fourth (Whataburger!). We've traveled to tourist destinations in time to face locked doors and a "Closed" sign. Once we tried around ten motels and hotels before finding accommodations for night. I think you get the idea. I'd decided that my outings were doomed to have glitches and failures.
    The other day we went on an outing with little to no plan other than visiting a certain coffee shop. We stopped at stores we saw along the route if they looked interesting (books, antiques, and shoes!) Instead of deciding ahead of time on a restaurant, we turned to Google Maps to find out what was near us. The day was completely relaxed and enjoyable. "Maybe that's how it works," someone speculated, "if you don't make a plan things work out better."
    So true! Many times I make a plan for my life, plotting the coordinates to decide where I would like to be at what time. My dismay when it doesn't work out is complete every time. Frustrated at my own attempts to hold things together, it doesn't take long to start losing my peace with God. 
    The hardest thing to do is probably what I should do: step back and let go. When I submit completely to the future God is working on and quit trying to make it fit into my ideas I find rest. My frustration is abated and I can begin to enjoy what is given me. No, it is likely not the adventure I would have planned for myself, but the complete peace of knowing God is in control remains unparalleled. 
    God's plan opens doors rather than letting me arrive to find them locked. In His care, I will have a bed when I need one without trying numerous places with no rooms available. And He will never leave me hungry and thirsty. 
    As I look back over my life I can see how relinquishing my ideas to God's will has been a blessing. It is an encouragement to see my elders who have spent their entire lifetimes in the faith and practice of submission and can now say with the Psalmist that I have been young and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.
    I know I have a long ways to go, but it is my desire to learn more of the beauty of submission and to let go of my plans. Not only the big plans, but also in the tiny challenges of everyday life. The abrupt trip to town when I wanted to stay home, the little inconveniences like sharing a washer and dryer or a bathroom with someone else, my ideas about where and how something should be done. Learning to submit doesn't mean these things won't happen at all, but learning to live by God's plan rather than my own will give me the ability to gracefully reschedule my day. 
    Proverbs 16:9 summarizes it nicely: A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps. It is there, in the direction of the Lord that peace is found, not in the carefully laid plans of my own heart. May each of us ever learn to walk closer to Him.

Enough Apologies

     A police officer approached a minister from a certain congregation. "Would you talk to your young men?" he asked. " They're always very nice and respectful when I stop them, but I've had enough apologies. I just want them to slow down!" 
    Oh, yes, I understood the officer's feelings. Enough apologies. Time to change. My thoughts turned to our relationship with God. I imagined Him listening as I come to Him day after day with my apologies for all the failures in my life. I supposed He was something like that officer, tired of my apologies and frustrated that I wouldn't just change.
    But then a new thought stole into my heart. Our great and wonderful Father is not a police officer. He keeps no record of my mistakes and apologies. He doesn't have a book that He looks over and shakes His head, wondering if I will ever learn. He understands my humanness, and as long as I sincerely try to serve Him to the best of my ability, He has made a beautiful promise: "I will be merciful toward their iniquities and I will remember their sins no more." (Hebrews 8:12)
    So many times I stumble on the path, snapping at my sister, losing patience with my school children, having critical thoughts towards those around me, and I come to God feeling like a failure. Sometimes I assume He is tired of my apologies, and I need to just try to do better on my own. I've messed up again, after so many good intentions, and it's a little embarrassing to confess to Him again. 

    Yes, we should grow. There comes a time to move on from our own personal temptations. But we need to recognize that if we fall, we are not a complete failure. We need only come with a childlike spirit back to our Savior and ask His forgiveness once again, trusting in His promise that not only will He forgive, He will completely forget! 

    A love so great that it is capable of forgetting a grievance committed toward it is more than my earthly mind can comprehend. The acceptance of that love takes us to a place in our own hearts where we can forgive others. An understanding of God's complete forgiveness helps me to find victory rather than giving in to feelings of hopelessness, and it is in the overwhelming goodness of His grace that I wish to walk through this life, seeking ever first His Kingdom.

Forgiveness

I turned away,

    turned away from God,

    I couldn't bear all my sin.

    I tried to flee, but I could not stay,

    For He called to me again.

And He called me child,

And He called me by name,

And He pled that I not stray.

Then as I watched,

I in wonder saw

His blood wash my sins all away,

            His blood wash my sins all away!

I hid my face,

    hid my face in shame,

    For had I not killed the Son?

    But He drew me close and He said to me,

    "Your sins are forgiven each one!"

Then He called me child,

And He called me by name,

I saw blood on my Savior's brow;

Then I heard Him say,

"Your sins are forgiven.

Forgive, as I forgive now,

            Forgive, as I forgive now!"

So in this life,

    in this blood-bought life,

    When I feel I've been done wrong,

    And I want to nurse a vile hate,

    I cannot do it long!

For He calls me child

And I see the cross

Where He died that I may live,

I stand amazed at His tender love,

And then can do not but forgive,

            And then can do not but forgive.

3-3-11

Weather Balloons

     This school year we studied a science unit on weather. I carefully prepared a slide show for the day, covering our lesson on forecasting. I included pictures to aide in teaching about weather stations, weather balloons, and weather satellites. The morning I was to teach to the lesson, as I walked to school, a strange orange object on the playground caught my eye. Upon closer investigation, I discovered it was a NOAA weather balloon that had landed, with perfect timing during the night, upon our proverbial doorstep! 
    In case you are unfamiliar with weather balloons, they are devices meteorologists send into the atmosphere, usually on a daily basis. They consist of a balloon filled with helium and a box that records data such as humidity, wind speed, and pressure. As the balloon rises higher in the atmosphere, it expands until it finally pops. As the weight of the box pulls downward, a small parachute deploys to slow and soften the landing. The data box can then be retrieved and connected to a computer. In the event that the contraption, as in our case at school, lands on private property, a tube with a prepaid envelope addressed to the weather service is attached with the request that the finder returns it to the weather station via post. 
    What were the chances that a weather balloon would land on our school yard the very day we were learning about them in Science? I'm sure they weren't very high. Yet there the balloon was on the very day we were studying forecasting! I couldn't have asked for better timing.
    Timing. What about God's timing? Unlike us humans, His timing is always perfect. We get frantic for solutions, drive ourselves into despair trying to figure out a way to make something work out, and languish in depression when we see no way out, all the while forgetting that in God's time, things will come together.
    We often begrudge having to relinquish control into God's hands. We forget all the times He's proven Himself throughout history. Remember Esther? God chose the perfect time for her to become queen. With impeccable foresight He made a way for the Israelites through the Red Sea. When the Philistines seemed a nearly impossible foe, God sent David, a boy He had been preparing, to visit his brothers just at the right moment to witness Goliath's mocking words. 
    It is so hard to sit back and trust. Waiting on God's timing to bring closure to situations we face or to open new doors is difficult. Our faith is challenged. Our understanding that He has our good in mind is sometimes difficult to cling to. There are days we feel God is putting us into situations we are not yet ready for, leading us into something that seems too big for us.  
    But as God told Sarah in Genesis 18:14: Is anything too hard for the Lord? At the time appointed I will return unto thee... David writes in Psalms 31: My times are in thy hand... We are reminded in Luke 18 that things which are impossible with men are possible with God. And of course, we remember that Ecclesiastes 3:11 states positively that He hath made everything beautiful in His time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. We are clearly told that we can't understand or predict God's plans and timing for us. Why do we waste so much time and energy trying and worrying? 
    I am challenging myself to lean more on God's timing, to trust that in His goodness He will make a way for me when it looks like it is too late or too dark or too difficult. I want to learn to live my life joyfully in the knowledge that His plan and His timing will not be hindered by anything this world may throw at me. I want to relax into His love, confident that He will guide me every step of the way.